Want to help out an ex-girlfriend dilemma without losing my existing woman

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NSWDave
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Want to help out an ex-girlfriend dilemma without losing my existing woman

#1

Post by NSWDave » September 15th, 2026, 10:17 pm

In a pickle and trying to sort it out in my mind before I lose my current girlfriend. Yesterday I was at lunch with a co-worker from my past job, we were eating and I saw this gal who reminded me of a girlfriend I used to have in 2015. I didn't make much of her as she was a few tables away cleaning up after some patrons had left.I do not believe in the idea we all have a double out there so I went back today and got a beer and a sub, then I saw this same woman working there. So I walked up to her and it was Julie.
She started to walk away I said hold on I just want to say hi please stay. She said get lost you cheated on me I want nothing to do with you. So I said listen give me 2 minutes of your time, she said what do you want.

So I asked her how she was doing and she said what do you think, she had dropped out of college, went through 2 years of depression when I cheated on her when we were engaged. So now she is working at this place cleaning up tables and floors. I might have cheated on her but deep down I regretted it at the time.

I told her go get your handbag or whatever else you have we are going for a walk, she said she can't the boss will fire her, I said let's go talk to him. I go there 2 times a week so I know the owner. I told Mike I am taking Julie and she is not coming back to work.He started telling me no way I said listen, I am not going to get into our life history but no ex-fiancee of mine is going to be doing this type of work. It took her by surprise and said I need this job, I said you don't need this job. Mike said wait I'll get your pay for the past 3 days , she had just started there on Saturday, I said listen mate, keep it since I'm putting you out not having an employee all of a sudden.

I'll make this short, I went for a walk with Julie, told her I am sorry for what i did, I don't want to get back together, I have a girlfriend, but I am not going to see her cleaning tables. I told her to go home, clean up get a shower whatever, I'll pick her up in 2 hours. At first she was all yelling telling me to butt out of her life I said this not about me looking to cheat on my girlfriend or have her on the side, this is from my heart I will take care of you until you get yourself a decent paying job.

We went for a drink all of 3 hours, she was not having any of my offers to support her, and then I talked her into it. I mean this I am only doing it to be a friend to a woman I once wanted to spend the rest of my life with who has suffered for my actions and infidelity.

I told her I'll give her whatever she was making at that place every month up front.I did exactly that today.

I know how this looks so don't be judgemental take it as I said it went down, how do I tell my girlfriend about the whole thing and what if she says fuck you and leaves me, I know I would react that way if she told me this whole thing.




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jag
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#2

Post by jag » September 16th, 2026, 6:58 am

Hon no woman on this earth is going to accept you only want to help a former girlfriend by what you did and on top giving her money every month.

Best of luck to you.
From Malta with love and sunshine

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#3

Post by LuKenGas » September 16th, 2026, 7:49 am

nswdave given the chance would you do her?




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#4

Post by HarryXxX » September 16th, 2026, 9:01 am

jag wrote: ↑
September 16th, 2026, 6:58 am
Hon no woman on this earth is going to accept you only want to help a former girlfriend by what you did and on top giving her money every month.

Best of luck to you.
I can see he's sincere about helping her out but it is not going to go down well with his girlfriend, if my girlfriend came to me said I met my ex and gave him money, told him not to work, I'd drop her like asap.




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TheButcher
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#5

Post by TheButcher » September 16th, 2026, 11:20 am

NSWDave wrote: ↑
September 15th, 2026, 10:17 pm
In a pickle and trying to sort it out in my mind before I lose my current girlfriend. Yesterday I was at lunch with a co-worker from my past job, we were eating and I saw this gal who reminded me of a girlfriend I used to have in 2015. I didn't make much of her as she was a few tables away cleaning up after some patrons had left.I do not believe in the idea we all have a double out there so I went back today and got a beer and a sub, then I saw this same woman working there. So I walked up to her and it was Julie.
She started to walk away I said hold on I just want to say hi please stay. She said get lost you cheated on me I want nothing to do with you. So I said listen give me 2 minutes of your time, she said what do you want.

So I asked her how she was doing and she said what do you think, she had dropped out of college, went through 2 years of depression when I cheated on her when we were engaged. So now she is working at this place cleaning up tables and floors. I might have cheated on her but deep down I regretted it at the time.

I told her go get your handbag or whatever else you have we are going for a walk, she said she can't the boss will fire her, I said let's go talk to him. I go there 2 times a week so I know the owner. I told Mike I am taking Julie and she is not coming back to work.He started telling me no way I said listen, I am not going to get into our life history but no ex-fiancee of mine is going to be doing this type of work. It took her by surprise and said I need this job, I said you don't need this job. Mike said wait I'll get your pay for the past 3 days , she had just started there on Saturday, I said listen mate, keep it since I'm putting you out not having an employee all of a sudden.

I'll make this short, I went for a walk with Julie, told her I am sorry for what i did, I don't want to get back together, I have a girlfriend, but I am not going to see her cleaning tables. I told her to go home, clean up get a shower whatever, I'll pick her up in 2 hours. At first she was all yelling telling me to butt out of her life I said this not about me looking to cheat on my girlfriend or have her on the side, this is from my heart I will take care of you until you get yourself a decent paying job.

We went for a drink all of 3 hours, she was not having any of my offers to support her, and then I talked her into it. I mean this I am only doing it to be a friend to a woman I once wanted to spend the rest of my life with who has suffered for my actions and infidelity.

I told her I'll give her whatever she was making at that place every month up front.I did exactly that today.

I know how this looks so don't be judgemental take it as I said it went down, how do I tell my girlfriend about the whole thing and what if she says fuck you and leaves me, I know I would react that way if she told me this whole thing.


Probably not what you are looking for but here is how I see it.

You tell your girlfriend about this situation she's gone, you don't tell her you are cheating on her even if it does not involve any sex and she finds out she will still leave you, in a nutshell you will have your ex-fiancee as the new girlfriend.

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#6

Post by NSWDave » September 16th, 2026, 10:00 pm

jag wrote: ↑
September 16th, 2026, 6:58 am
Hon no woman on this earth is going to accept you only want to help a former girlfriend by what you did and on top giving her money every month.

Best of luck to you.
Why do you say that, what is wrong with being honest and telling how you think.




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#7

Post by NSWDave » September 16th, 2026, 10:01 pm

LuKenGas wrote: ↑
September 16th, 2026, 7:49 am
nswdave given the chance would you do her?
In a heart beat but I am not going there,I want to put right something I did wrong and ruined her life.




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#8

Post by NSWDave » September 16th, 2026, 10:02 pm

HarryXxX wrote: ↑
September 16th, 2026, 9:01 am
jag wrote: ↑
September 16th, 2026, 6:58 am
Hon no woman on this earth is going to accept you only want to help a former girlfriend by what you did and on top giving her money every month.

Best of luck to you.
I can see he's sincere about helping her out but it is not going to go down well with his girlfriend, if my girlfriend came to me said I met my ex and gave him money, told him not to work, I'd drop her like asap.

So would I how ever I am not looking for sex a new woman in my life or anything else, just to help out an ex I messed up her life.




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#9

Post by NSWDave » September 16th, 2026, 10:04 pm

TheButcher wrote: ↑
September 16th, 2026, 11:20 am
NSWDave wrote: ↑
September 15th, 2026, 10:17 pm
In a pickle and trying to sort it out in my mind before I lose my current girlfriend. Yesterday I was at lunch with a co-worker from my past job, we were eating and I saw this gal who reminded me of a girlfriend I used to have in 2015. I didn't make much of her as she was a few tables away cleaning up after some patrons had left.I do not believe in the idea we all have a double out there so I went back today and got a beer and a sub, then I saw this same woman working there. So I walked up to her and it was Julie.
She started to walk away I said hold on I just want to say hi please stay. She said get lost you cheated on me I want nothing to do with you. So I said listen give me 2 minutes of your time, she said what do you want.

So I asked her how she was doing and she said what do you think, she had dropped out of college, went through 2 years of depression when I cheated on her when we were engaged. So now she is working at this place cleaning up tables and floors. I might have cheated on her but deep down I regretted it at the time.

I told her go get your handbag or whatever else you have we are going for a walk, she said she can't the boss will fire her, I said let's go talk to him. I go there 2 times a week so I know the owner. I told Mike I am taking Julie and she is not coming back to work.He started telling me no way I said listen, I am not going to get into our life history but no ex-fiancee of mine is going to be doing this type of work. It took her by surprise and said I need this job, I said you don't need this job. Mike said wait I'll get your pay for the past 3 days , she had just started there on Saturday, I said listen mate, keep it since I'm putting you out not having an employee all of a sudden.

I'll make this short, I went for a walk with Julie, told her I am sorry for what i did, I don't want to get back together, I have a girlfriend, but I am not going to see her cleaning tables. I told her to go home, clean up get a shower whatever, I'll pick her up in 2 hours. At first she was all yelling telling me to butt out of her life I said this not about me looking to cheat on my girlfriend or have her on the side, this is from my heart I will take care of you until you get yourself a decent paying job.

We went for a drink all of 3 hours, she was not having any of my offers to support her, and then I talked her into it. I mean this I am only doing it to be a friend to a woman I once wanted to spend the rest of my life with who has suffered for my actions and infidelity.

I told her I'll give her whatever she was making at that place every month up front.I did exactly that today.

I know how this looks so don't be judgemental take it as I said it went down, how do I tell my girlfriend about the whole thing and what if she says fuck you and leaves me, I know I would react that way if she told me this whole thing.


Probably not what you are looking for but here is how I see it.

You tell your girlfriend about this situation she's gone, you don't tell her you are cheating on her even if it does not involve any sex and she finds out she will still leave you, in a nutshell you will have your ex-fiancee as the new girlfriend.


I know why I am asking for some solid advice. Let me say this again. This is not to get back together, not to have sex, not to cheat on my girlfriend. I am trying to do the decent thing help am ex who is struggling that is all there is to it.




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#10

Post by TheButcher » September 17th, 2026, 10:02 am

NSWDave wrote: ↑
September 16th, 2026, 10:04 pm
TheButcher wrote: ↑
September 16th, 2026, 11:20 am
NSWDave wrote: ↑
September 15th, 2026, 10:17 pm
In a pickle and trying to sort it out in my mind before I lose my current girlfriend. Yesterday I was at lunch with a co-worker from my past job, we were eating and I saw this gal who reminded me of a girlfriend I used to have in 2015. I didn't make much of her as she was a few tables away cleaning up after some patrons had left.I do not believe in the idea we all have a double out there so I went back today and got a beer and a sub, then I saw this same woman working there. So I walked up to her and it was Julie.
She started to walk away I said hold on I just want to say hi please stay. She said get lost you cheated on me I want nothing to do with you. So I said listen give me 2 minutes of your time, she said what do you want.

So I asked her how she was doing and she said what do you think, she had dropped out of college, went through 2 years of depression when I cheated on her when we were engaged. So now she is working at this place cleaning up tables and floors. I might have cheated on her but deep down I regretted it at the time.

I told her go get your handbag or whatever else you have we are going for a walk, she said she can't the boss will fire her, I said let's go talk to him. I go there 2 times a week so I know the owner. I told Mike I am taking Julie and she is not coming back to work.He started telling me no way I said listen, I am not going to get into our life history but no ex-fiancee of mine is going to be doing this type of work. It took her by surprise and said I need this job, I said you don't need this job. Mike said wait I'll get your pay for the past 3 days , she had just started there on Saturday, I said listen mate, keep it since I'm putting you out not having an employee all of a sudden.

I'll make this short, I went for a walk with Julie, told her I am sorry for what i did, I don't want to get back together, I have a girlfriend, but I am not going to see her cleaning tables. I told her to go home, clean up get a shower whatever, I'll pick her up in 2 hours. At first she was all yelling telling me to butt out of her life I said this not about me looking to cheat on my girlfriend or have her on the side, this is from my heart I will take care of you until you get yourself a decent paying job.

We went for a drink all of 3 hours, she was not having any of my offers to support her, and then I talked her into it. I mean this I am only doing it to be a friend to a woman I once wanted to spend the rest of my life with who has suffered for my actions and infidelity.

I told her I'll give her whatever she was making at that place every month up front.I did exactly that today.

I know how this looks so don't be judgemental take it as I said it went down, how do I tell my girlfriend about the whole thing and what if she says fuck you and leaves me, I know I would react that way if she told me this whole thing.


Probably not what you are looking for but here is how I see it.

You tell your girlfriend about this situation she's gone, you don't tell her you are cheating on her even if it does not involve any sex and she finds out she will still leave you, in a nutshell you will have your ex-fiancee as the new girlfriend.


I know why I am asking for some solid advice. Let me say this again. This is not to get back together, not to have sex, not to cheat on my girlfriend. I am trying to do the decent thing help am ex who is struggling that is all there is to it.
Your intentions might be very good I am not questioning that, but I still think your present girlfriend is not going to take it that way.But hey all the best I hope it all wors out for the best.

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#11

Post by shoopa » September 18th, 2026, 1:15 pm

NSWDave you tell your girlfriend about the ex?




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#12

Post by NSWDave » September 18th, 2026, 10:54 pm

shoopa wrote: ↑
September 18th, 2026, 1:15 pm
NSWDave you tell your girlfriend about the ex?
I want to , I also am not sure how she will react.I will not leave my ex fiancee hanging,that just is not right.In case any person has a doubt,I am not looking to get back with her,I love my girlfriend.




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#13

Post by CDSally » September 20th, 2026, 11:44 pm

Come clean the truth always has a way to come out over time and hiding it from your girlfriend will not go well.




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#14

Post by NSWDave » September 21st, 2026, 12:07 am

CDSally wrote: ↑
September 20th, 2026, 11:44 pm
Come clean the truth always has a way to come out over time and hiding it from your girlfriend will not go well.
I can not let my ex down and I don't know how to discuss it with my woman without her taking it all wrong.




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jag
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#15

Post by jag » September 22nd, 2026, 6:46 am

NSWDave wrote: ↑
September 21st, 2026, 12:07 am
CDSally wrote: ↑
September 20th, 2026, 11:44 pm
Come clean the truth always has a way to come out over time and hiding it from your girlfriend will not go well.
I can not let my ex down and I don't know how to discuss it with my woman without her taking it all wrong.

Keep it simple, truthful and how you feel hon.
From Malta with love and sunshine

Want to help out an ex-girlfriend dilemma without losing my existing woman

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